Firstly, we see little difference between them — all a bunch of overfed, under exercised “911!” screechers, the lot of them. However, we can offer our qualified opinion on them for your consideration:
Mike Huckabee: no longer jolly since he is no longer fat. Queen Victoria said it best about Fat May Cambridge, Princess of Teck: “The crowd love fat people.”
Rudy Guiliani: “The Fireman’s Friend,” as he would like for us to believe. One is given to think that he singlehandedly leapt into the air and knocked the third Al Qaeda plane out of the air, setting it down safely somewhere in Nassau County. Can’t be too sure, somehow the mere fact that he was in NYC on the 11th September 2001 makes him more special than all the other millions of folks who were as well — we don’t see many fashionistas claiming their collections that were shown during Fashion Week 2001 makes for better design than those not. Synopsis: we miss Jimmy Walker.
John McCain: we aren’t saying he is old and out of touch, but one would not be surprised to find him outside Lambeth Palace seeking an audience with both Cosmo Lang and Lord Beaverbrook to discuss l’Affaire Simpson. . .
Duncan Hunter: evidently, he is a firm member of the Borah (but at least Borah knocked up Alice Longworth) school of foreign relations, and one step above outright Birch Society membership, would probably make Warren G. Harding look like a mental giant.
Tom Tancredo: anyone whose name ends with a vowel that isn’t “e” and isn’t Costello has no business discussing immigration at all, at any time, for any reason.
Ron Paul: Wants to stop fluoridation of water since the market will cure all dental problems after the flat tax is implemented.
Mitt Romney: a Good Hair Republican, independently wealthy — but not in the kewl Mike Bloomberg or Kennedy sort of way, wears magical underwear, sons are too busy serving America by campaigning for him to join the military.
Brownback: too suspiciously close to bareback, therefore homosensual context, guaranteed loser, even denying the age of the earth over 6000 years can’t save him.
Fred Thompson: One term back bencher. Second new model wife after old one put him through college and law school. Synopsis: it is a pity Jerry Orbach died. . .
There are probably some more who utterly skip my mind: since Paul is the only one with an ideology, it isn’t a difficult thing to do.
Posted by wickedtrio 